This is not a remedy. This is your joy.

Sep 6

Sept. 6 2023 - 11:39am - Toronto, Canada

At Carbonic Coffee. A humid sunny day, oat flat white. Joel Richardson and Co. are mounting the exhibit at the art gallery.

I’m still mildly high.

There are mistakes and then there are regrets.

I don’t have regrets but getting high this morning was a mistake. Oh well.

Self check in: How are you feeling today? Any discomformt? Tensions?

I feel nauseated and foggy.

Come back to your breath.

Water and air are cleansing elements.

I’m tired - let’s be real. My body screams out for rest - to rejuvinate and heal.

Elvis knew he had to help me. And heal me, he said.

. . .

I’m trained to want more. Be perpetually dissatisfied - Looking for the next thing to look for.

I’m searching for things to search for.

Something feels wrong about that. The search for disatisfaction. as if ease and calm leave me in a restless state. That’s a narrative that does not serve me. Release the need to search - and hunt.

The conquest, the game.

If all this is no longer about proving myself, what would my actions look like?

I wouldn’t be operating from a fear or lack mindset.

I wouldn’t be trying to un-write and re-write my stories. I would just be writing. For the joy of it.

It no longer becomes about any narrative, but rather becomes about the art.

Abundance is already here.

Look at your life.

You are not poor - you are thriving.

You are creating beauty day after day.

You are living art.

Build, play, create - but don’t do it for the sake of compensation or to improve your state.

Build because you love it.

Build because it excites you.