Home
September 4 2025 (Journal Entry)
Home isn’t the house by the ocean, or the cabin in the woods. It’s not the loft with a perfect layout or the custom made furnishings. Home is within. It’s the relaxing into the most internal parts of your being, landing there, and allowing yourself to BE awake in the darkness. It’s the inner expansion experience. When you’re looking to land somewhere outside yourself, home will never arrive. It will always be a moving target of “what’s next” and what to improve.
All our “spiritual practices”—these are all tools and vehicles to take us home. To a place that we've always had access to. Yes, noise is distracting—the city, goals, the opinions of others. But what actually gets in our way is our own mind, and the resistance we hold around the noise. We are creating the narratives, telling ourselves that we are not able to access home because of reasons xyz.
During my morning meditation today, I turned off all the music. There was the sound of rain, sirens, noise from the street, some beeping. But none of the was good or bad. It was all just waves. Once I let it all dissolve into this swirling energy that not only surrounds me but is, me— the boundless container of consciousness, I became that infinite expansive space of all things itself. It was the most blissful I felt in a while. Tears streamed from my eyes as I chanted the Pavamana Mantra. I was home.
. . .
This morning I woke up in a bit of a storm. I had started my practices later than I would like, and then I started cleaning the house. There were piles of unfolded laundry, neglected things—clutter. I felt compelled to set the space. It’s raining outside so there was no running to the external to find that place of peace. I needed to face the state that I had left my home. I found myself checking my messages. Then got pulled into a scroll trap. Despite all that I did my practice anyway, even though it was 10am and I was feeling this inertia of being behind schedule. Once again this morning was a reminder that no matter where I am, taking the time to recalibrate and come home to center is the absolute key to moving through life with alignment.
